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Mountain Man's UseNet ArchiveSurplus Answersand the Dilemma of the LAYMAN as addressed byDale Means | |||||
Web Publication by Mountain Man Graphics, Australia in the Southern Summer of 1995
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Mountain Man's UseNet ArchiveSurplus Answersand the Dilemma of the LAYMAN as addressed byDale Means | |||||
Web Publication by Mountain Man Graphics, Australia in the Southern Summer of 1995
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For years, the vast .edu establishment has been flooding science in general and relativity in particular with surplus answers. This is creating a real morale problem for my fellow laymen. The huge surplus of answers in Relativity (described below) is especially frustrating because there is no known way to select the correct answers from the vast array of answers (WAGs in layman vernacular)) cited in the literature. Accordingly, as Acting Head Layman, I feel that it is incumbent upon me to try to do something about this demoralizing mess.
Of course, I could exercise the vast powers vested in me as Acting Head Layman and start whipping out answers also, but we most definitely don't need more answers. Moreover, we laymen much prefer to deal from the question side where we have over the years developed considerable expertise, along with an intense dislike for surplus answers.
And, naturally, I want to honor the traditional protocols which, I believe, demand that I submit my credentials to the head honcho's on the answer side.
But, unfortunately, I can't determine from the currently available literature, nor by monitoring sci.physics, just who [whom in eduspeak] is handling the Relativity account.. It appears that it has been split into three divisions.
First, there is just plain relativity that deals with bona fide physics. Then there is the relativity practiced under mathematics. But mathematics itself ignites so many ecclesiastical passions that it might be considered a religion of some kind. And finally, there is the practice of Relativity which is clearly a profession as witness the large number of people who get paid to profess it. But since the theory as now practiced involves mathematical and other divinations, it must also be considered a religion. Of course, this type of ambiguity is not new. We note that in the past, an expert, originally called an haruspex, was called in to provide guidance in situations of this sort. Let me briefly quote the Webster definition of haruspex:
Of course, the modern haruspices of Relativity do not use entrails. Instead, they use large groups of mathematical symbols which, when properly arranged, are similar in appearance and seem to work just as well.
Now, while Relativity does not use the traditional priest (or equivalent) to spread its Gospel, it is in practice very difficult to distinguish between haruspices and priests. They both are selling a package which has been endowed with awe-inspiring conceptual elasticity; they both deliver long-winded sermons, which include topics not related to either physics or religion; and both manage to hide the umbilical connection to divine sources implicit in their messages, but absent from available empirical evidence.
And there are differences in technique. The clergy, for example, will frequently cite the Bible and use prayers in the effort to persuade their subjects; the haruspices of Relativity, on the other hand, have random access to a much larger body of literature, which they cite with more passion than precision. Then, after their subjects have been cited into a trance, they are just simply thused into the fold.
For example, we note that in the standard and frequently repeated sermon on the resolution of the twin-paradox, the haruspices include a long-winded discussion in which their point achieves mootdom long before it even approaches relevancy, and concludes with the seemingly obligatory benediction that "thus we see that there is no paradox, after all." And while this might appear crude at first glance, it appears that large numbers of people have been thused into believing. But laymen, who are unthusable by inclination and instinct, are just left out in the cold.
We also note that some of the younger haruspices of relativity seem to be a little confused in that they preach Relativity while explaining Lorentz. But we can easily overlook this minor flaw because Relativity is a most difficult profession. For example, they must develop the iron discipline required to keep a straight face while thusing, and they must refrain from publicly laughing at the resolutions of the twin paradox offered by their fellow haruspices--a difficult task indeed.
Moreover, since the old ether was replaced with "empty space" by a senior haruspex early in the game, they haven't been given much to work with. Of course, empty space is useful and can be used as a vast reservoir of nothing in which is stored all of the somethings that are needed to keep Relativity off the backs of cereal boxes.
The major problem is getting all these somethings from empty space into play without citing empty space as the source. So, to get from one side of empty space to the other in two jumps, they have divided the problem into two parts. The first, handled by a low ranking special harupex, is accomplished by either thusing the somethings into play, or, by letting the postulates of the theory handle the problem unilaterally. These postulates, of course, come with a divine warranty, so there is no need for mere man to know how this is accomplished.
At the next higher level, the general haruspices have replaced empty space with geometry which serves as a foundation for the second jump. And while this is a most difficult task, the general haruspices have been granted much greater powers. For example, they have been granted full mathematical subpoena powers. So, if a general harupex needs something from empty space he just simply issues a mathematical subpoena and the necessary something must appear in his equations, no questions asked. And, as is well known, geometry can be manipulated from a distance using advanced mathematics. In its early crude form, this was known a voodooism. Today, of course, high speed computers are used to insert the digital equivalents of the old pins and needles and even a poorly trained general haruspex can whip out the mathematical equivalent of a genetically engineered placebo in a fraction of a second, and generate an enormous number of surplus answers in the process.
Thus we see that Relativity is consistent with religion, after all.
Anyway, we laymen believe that it is time take a closer look at the questions instead of producing surplus answers. Accordingly, as Acting Head Layman and in accordance with applicable protocols, I herewith invite the head honcho's of the various answer-generating entities to a summit meeting where I will submit my credentials in the form of (naturally) THE question. NOTE: For reasons of security, ethics, sanity, et al, participants with AOL or .edu accounts will be asked to check them at the door. Referees of any type will not be permitted to attend.
There will be just one rule for the summit meeting: No one, even the most senior haruspex, will be permitted to reword THE question. This rule alone should eliminate tens of thousands of surplus answers.
Of course, after the meeting THE question will be posted here for public discussion.
We believe that many if not most of the people who have been reading sci.physics for any length of time will be willing and possibly even eager to go back and start all over with us.
Meanwhile, we are always looking for new laymen to joining the cause. While sci.physics seems to deal primarily with surplus answers, I have seen layman-quality questions posted here. In fact, I think that most people who post here could make layman with only a little effort. And it is entirely possible that some of you folks with .edu accounts could make layman if you will just simply switch from the apodictic mode to the interrogatory mode, which is the default mode for laymen. Thus we see no reason why you shouldn't just switch and join the cause.
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Mountain Man's UseNet ArchiveSurplus Answersand the Dilemma of the LAYMAN as addressed byDale Means | |||||
Web Publication by Mountain Man Graphics, Australia in the Southern Summer of 1995
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